2009 Mix

A Proper Cup

a proper cup
still soothes me

the singular taste of milk
and sugar fermenting a 
pouch of leaves leaves me
                     breathless
no longer, but sated
still

standing soundless as 
once I stood
          bewitched
by the sound of your
breath
canting my name

c.sdmrogers 15 jan 2009

All About Eve

was there an apple
waiting on that thirteen
inch screen or simply the
future set out in black and white

the page boy not quite blonde
hair that languished on the
                     pillow
in clumps around the not quite
                         perfect
teeth of what once was beauty

of all the rings that ringing rang
against the rubaiyat red of oh so
                           forbidden
fruit and his hand 'gainst the small
of that elegant aching back while
all the while angst made its way
frame to frame up the winding
                   tree
of knowledge loss and Liebestod

middle age not quite admitted
youth not withstanding and
                     Eve
still a girl of twenty four at twenty
four forty years ago

forty
     years
ago

c.sdmrogers 22 jan 2009

Easy Silence

to never understand
the gentle press of finger
tips down the spine
to mistake a clench
for safety
to mistake a lock
for love
       this has been my life

their efforts
some valiant
some violent
all convinced
if not convincing
fall short
so short
of the easy silence 
of you

to watch me walk away
not knowing when I 
no knowing if I 
ever will walk back
to watch me walk away
knowing that to watch 
is to be certain
I will

makes sanctuary
out of fear
makes forever out of never

to hold me your
laughter not your tears
to hold me with your 
heart no your hands

to hold me fast
to hold me strong
to hold me true
in the easy silence
of you

c.sdmrogers jan 2009

Long Day's Journey

the walk of resignation
down the path of no return
breath suspended speech dissembled
nothing but ache and heart and
longing
for 
the impossible the
improbable the highly
unlikely

the walk on shattered glass
with flattened feet with
cold and curling toes
cued to run to sprint to
flee
from
the imminent the
impending the covertly
real

length of day is measured
by turn of phrase and wheel
by electromagnet ether burning
lace
across the sky branding
loss
across the sunset 'til
night waves warm and dumb
and there is
nothing
left
to mourn

into the arms of Morpheus
she whispers and rising falls
up and up and up
his voice the only tether
his tears the only balm

c.sdmrogers 8 feb 2009

Waiting

sitting behind the screen
of his misfortunes is he
waiting for her
          too
to disappear

does the diaphanous light
of filtered moon colour his
longing for her
             too
to withdraw

or is he 
simply lost
with or with
         out
her

c.sdmrogers 10 feb 2009

Long-Lived

tiny head swaddled
in newborn fleece
how could they know
five months and
twenty-four days would
                  end
like this

Omar
little Omar

in a bed too high
for holding too high
for cuddling too high
for cooing
          goodbye

with a thin white
tube feeding air into
lungs too
        broken
to breathe

Omar
little Omar

black curls waving
'gainst polished olive
skin, perfect brows
arching over eyes
forever closed

mother's?
father's?

I arrived too
late to know

only just in time
to press a tiptoe
                kiss
on withered palm

Omar
little Omar

hollow
cold
gone

c.sdmrogers 15 february 2009

Colour Less

when reality cannot match
fantasy
when image cannot mirror
truth

what is
there

the green blue bluer
sky of his eye

reflects only want
reflects only need
reflects only
            ex
pectation

unfulfilled
unwarranted
unknown

and the only
          brown
is mine

the deep obsidian
shade of jade

reflects only loss
reflects only waste
reflects only
            dis
solution

unheard
uncertain
unformed

c.sdmrogers 23 feb 209

Another Bad Driver

the green light that shines from your dock
is no more real than Daisy's
and I am Zelda
stretching forth my arms into nothingness

night is never tender
swaddled in the shroud of misbegotten love
and I am Nicole
hiding in the shade of your departure

in the cold I long
for the crinkled ache of
sun
on my shoulders
for the salted scratch of 
sand 
at my feet

those too are gone
the entombed dreams of a girl
trapped in the body of a not so certain
age

c.sdmrogers 25 feb 2009

False Starts

hours burn slowly
fired over minute coals
that smolder threaten and
die
with each unwritten letter
with each unspoken word

static time dredges
lava pools of night
to mock the strength of
day
with each unanswered call
with each uncovered wound

where do we go now
without the other half
where do we go not
                alone

c.sdmrogers 18 march 2009
Roadrunner

ignorant of birds
I cannot say what
you are only what
you are 
      not

head down
tail flat
a long legged
         flash
the colour of
           cold
concrete

not any 
shade of blue
at all

not even on four
legs can the
          coy yo teh
catch you

fast
yes fast

but I must ask
who would
run
when he could
           fly

c.sdmrogers 23 march 2009

Cactus Man

today
I drove past our house
the one on the hill
the one in which we
               moved
unseen
the one in which my father
                 stood
a moment before he
died

CactusMan is gone
lost
I'm sure
to the decayed yard
to the decrepit wall able
to retain
       nothing
still

my irises rise
colourless but for green
and I am glad for green
was what we were
then
when that house was ours
when you built
the gate that stands there still
the gate you made to keep us in
your creatures
the gate you made to keep them
out
those creatures
bent on taking us away from
you when
       in the end
no one could have done
but
   you

c.sdmrogers 6 april 2009

Benison

and at some point
forever
is still not enough

no matter the beauty
that is left between
eleven
and eleven

no matter the holiness
of the hour, there is
still someone saying
still

you have used that
before
you have said that
before
you have meant that
before

yet
it is still not
          enough
it does not
       matter
enough

and you are
not
   enough
not
   enough
not
   enough

to stop the dogs
howling
to stop the users
prowling
to stop the cats
yowling

not enough
not enough
not enough

never enough

to stumble from
night
     to
noon
with a smile
an enigmatic
            smile

that says
        long
        want
        need
that says
        never
        never
             never
enough

c.sdmrogers 8 april 2009

Magic

Tennessee called
it a click, a mechanical
click, where everything just gets
peaceful

Tennessee called
Kitty Maggie, gave her
a pat on the head and
put her out for the night

to wander a land of ghosts 
with a stringless guitar and
the echo of perfect harmony
burned fast in her brain

in this land
waters run red
bubbling purple at the 
surface like carbonated
blood
and all the clocks read
six hours ahead
from where she is
from where she was

in this land
all the roofs are tin
all the roofs are hot
and Kitty's only
              victory
is
as Tennessee knew
as Tennessee knows

just stayin' on
I suppose
just stayin' on

c.sdmrogers 10 april 2009
with limitless thanks to Tennessee Williams

Homesick

Houston was too small
a world of concrete green and
grey

its living oaks erupted 
their roots exploded granite
their arms thatched out the sky

and each day when the woman 
rose
the little girl wept for the
wind
wept for the sun
wept for the scent
of sage and sumac and
chocolate daisies flung
wild
across the plains

c.sdmrogers 16 April 2009

Wonder

pain dries out
for smoke
for the curling greyness of softened
fire 
branding his name
across the sky

she spoke softly
the bloody corners of her mouth
throbbing
in time with the sea

there was a dream
I had of
love
silly, isn't it
to dream of
love
when it takes
two
to dream such a dream

the bay rushed 'gainst pilings
of rust and sand
and I thought of her
young
holding me fast
across her chest as I
flew 
into the open arms
of the sea

when you left
the world turned
ash 
and suddenly I was
old 
and youth existed only in your
eyes

as I watched
it seemed moonlight trailed
in mercurial globules
from each of her
words
and I could wonder only
how
   how
      how
she came to be here
so
  Alone

c.sdmrogers 20 April 2009

Unreal

each year I read

I read much of the night
and dream

I dream of going
               south
south in the winter

where summer never
                  surprises
beyond its heat
beyond its burning

hyacinths and lilacs 
smouldering in
             heaps
beneath its rocks

beneath its red
oh so red
       rocks

and the games we play
with agony lit jewels
amid stained satin cases,

cry out in fiery 
             points
that neither time nor 
penance
can erase

can you hear me
my Poet, you
whose voice has
               somehow
bound
my own

a waterless
          slake
to Phoebus' thirst

a lockless
          key
a keyless
         prison

and a nightfall
of exquisite
            ruin
at the hands of 
               nothing
of nothing
           at all

c.sdmrogers 21 april 2009

Requiem

when faith
drops to gall-
spiced chains at the 
                    bottom
of wisdom

when hope
falls to duty-
confined rings at the
                     edge
of reason

when love
turns to salt-
matted lashes at the 
                   corner
of sight

there is no
           why
there is only
           why
not

c.sdmrogers 29 may 2009

Noblesse Oblige

Four Noble Truths

what is
       Noble
about suffering
and the causes of

what is
        Noble
about cessation
and the way of

fuck
    Noble

give me sleep
deep
dreamless
         Sleep

plug me back
into the matrix
carve the
         Noble
from my soul
replace it with the
                   Mediocre

let
   Salieri
compose my mass
while
     Wolfie
laughs atop his
               Noble
rod

fuck
    Noble

I will be a
           Cat

I will clean and kill and sleep and purr
at will
at whim
but
   never
when asked
     expected
     wanted
needed

I will be a 
           Cat

I will delight in the chase and mourn not
the dead
for the dead are
               easily
replaced
as mice
as humans
         always
are

I will be a
           Cat

I will believe that perhaps
just perhaps
the next
        toy
will fight a bit harder
will live a bit longer
so that I
might come to know the
                      colour
of mercy

I will be a
           Cat

for as many nine-lived samsaras as I can
they will call me
                 Cassie
and never know
              why

but I will know
I
  will
know

I will be a
           Cat

no longer a sphynx
but a riddle-less
                 Cat

and the truths I tell
will be plain
        clear
        clamorous
and
        irrefutable

but not
       Noble
no

I will be a 
           Cat

and never be
            Noble
again

c.sdmrogers 10 june 2009

Portrait

Cassandra sits
              alone
in her lair
beyond the mouth
fire frolics to a tune
                    endless
                    evocative
by which the world writhes

Cassandra stares
                alone
shadow-blind
deaf to the screams
a bottle of cacophony
                    uncorked
                    untouched
at her side

Cassandra shrives
                 alone
absolving the earth
the red earth
             bloody
             fecal
the colour of truth
her truth
his truth
the truth
with which he has cursed her

Cassandra sings
               alone

oh madness
sweet madness

in a cracked innocuous voice

when will you arrive?

with a hard and sanguine mouth

oh madness
sweet madness
cool and blue and still

Cassandra stands
               alone
                    unwanted
                    unclaimed
closing her crepe eyes
to the red dawn

c.sdmrogers 27 june 2009

Incubus

I dreamed you again tonight
not the usual
all-of-this-was-only-a-dream
dream
but
something worse
something better
something
different

at least
different
you always look the same
small
cold
indifferent
which makes
different
so much more
anyway
we were there
in this dream
and I was telling you
in this dream
all that had
transpired
outside
this dream
in the years since you left

your voice was the same
small
cold
indifferent
as you told me
It Was Only a Dream
and I was afraid
to wake
to turn
to find you
lying 
still
beside me

I was afraid
to learn that
yes
it was only a dream

c.sdmrogers 12 July 2009

Left

he leaves me
easily
time matters
not

he leaves me
quickly
tears matter
not

he leaves me
aching
as he
never
shall
wanting
as he 
never does
longing
as he 
never has

and none of it
matters

all that matters
is
he leaves me

c.sdmrogers 12 july 2009

Design

the four-fingered sun
that parts her endless sky
is never in his sight

and yet
it will appear

in the background
of his water's fall
in the foreground
of his mountains' rising

just as her words
are his
and his
are hers

beyond sight
beyond touch
beyond form and frame and role and function

they somehow
            step
into the breathless
                   deathless
                             timeless
light
     of
being

c.sdmrogers 30 august 2009

Veracity

there are curses
that do come true

hers
    will

written on a wind that rattles forth the coming holocaust
screamed into a night that cuts sun and hope from heart

hers
    will

end will come day will fail loneliness and death and cold that chews the gut
of truth will win
out, but

not
soon enough
           no
not
soon enough
           no
never
soon enough

to save 
me

c.sdmrogers 19 september 2009

Worth Words

the world was too much
                      with
him, though his words told
otherwise

the world was too much
                      in
him, though his hands held
a different kind

Believe
       she told him
Believe
       and
Be Strong
be strong
         Enough
to last, but he
               they
                   never
was
are

Come Near
         she told him
Come Near
         and
Encircle
encircle
        Enough
to hold, but he
               they
                   never
did
do

because

the world
was too much
            with
him
    with
them
and too much
            with
out
    Her

c.sdmrogers 28 september 2009

Lipstain

he smelled before
he saw
burning still
against the
           grey
wet tar, three rings of
                       green
above the solid band of
                       white

but

it was
red
that caught his eye
red
that plead the press of lips
red
that fought the need
to hurry past
to hurry on
to
  hurry
       by

bending to the ash
he could see
            her
car-warm in the lukewarm
rays of autumn, left
hand extended
palm up
fingers flexed
in offering
to the untaught sky
                   red
glove caressing
               white
a
  white
burning billet that
she kissed with
those lips, with
those perfect
             red
arched lips

a touch
one touch
of his finger to the
tip and he was 
              red
marked
      red
stained
       red
ruined
for the 
       rest
of the day

c.sdmrogers 10 october 2009
                     

Ensconced

each morning he
slips
her into his
pocket

the right one with the 
sharp and shiny
keys

their jingle calls up
cages
their ridges wear down
pride

and there
she lies

in silence
in honour
in peace pressed
warm

against the solid silver
throb
of his over
active unre
pentant pulse

that soothes and stirs and
calls 
to her as no
other
      ever
has

c.sdmrogers 6 december 2009