How to Outrun a Tornado

1.  Fasten your seatbelt — regardless of how it might wrinkle your new dress

2.  Pull on your favourite gloves — the red ones that match your lipstick

3.  Hang your Hospice ID badge from the rearview mirror reading out

4.  Turn the volume on Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace to 27

5.  Kiss Buddha for luck

6.  Ask him to bless the young man who talked you into buying High Performance Tires

7.  Hope that all the old people are way smarter than you and safe in their homes instead of on the road

8.  Remind yourself that hydroplaning only becomes a problem IF you lose control

9.  Ignore the ever-greening sky in your rearview mirror

10. Push the peep-toes to the floorboard and drive like hell

© s rogers 17 April 2009

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