2012 Mix

Leaning

and where
does this
         Sadness
live

behind the eyes, it screams
within the gut, it whispers
along the soles of your flat feet
across the lines of your beautiful
palms

it quivers and burns
it is breath and bile and all the 
bounty of
Life

it shimmers and glows
it is light and hope and all the
wisdom of
God

it is
      Freedom

c.sdrmrogers 28 january 2012

Fantasia

for the most
part, she is
unaware
unwitting
unconscious

for the most
part, she is 
purposefully blind
intentionally ignorant
deliberately dead

to his Life
to his World
to WhoHeIs

for the most
part

then there are
days
hours
     times
when there is nothing
but

those are the
times
when crape-eyed
models
with copper-cued
skin
and hair so black it must
once
have been blue,

dissolve like dreams
passive and powerless
'gainst the tow-headed
day,
'gainst the righteous
light

that freezes
Hope 
and cauterizes
Love

at the behest of 
Duty

c.sdmrogers 8 march 2012

That's Entertainment

when you take away the 
animals, you're left with
cigarettes and coca-cola

in a city park that makes
no sense,

with an upright tight piano
that scratches like a needle
fucking vinyl, and a sky

that ends somewhere
over there.

seven days and still no other
sound to meet the memory
I had thought was dumb,

and the visions of Dead Deer
Lane that have never died.

How was it done?
How was it done?

let me tell you 
How it was Done

Frantically
on my back as my
ass climbed his thighs,
my arches on his shoulders

Tenderly
on my side as he
cradled me in the
vast length of him

Frighteningly
on my belly as his
hand engulfed my throat,
my back arched and aching

Reverently
from his knees as I
stood, his face wet
between my breasts

there were other Lys,
but Comically?
no
no, I don't remember
Comically

unless, perhaps, you
mean the look on my 
face when I realized he
was gone;
really, truly, totally
Gone.

then, yes, perhaps came
Comically

but I missed it.

and yes, I know
you don't understand

no one ever has

still
You
have come 
closest.

c.sdmrogers 2 may 2012

Tears of Helios

of course you are
right
my darling, my one
as so often 
you are

no one will
know
or knowing, 
remember,
or remembering,
understand

ah, but the clues 
we shall leave
my lover, my own
the clues

each but a
piece
of who we are
of who we were
of who we 
might have
been

ambergris crypts
of ever
of never
that come alight
only at night

my strength

my heart

        my other

my home

c.sdmrogers 28 may 2012

Melatonin Hungover

sad skies full of rain
threatened but not
delivered, not quite
delivered

the breathing heads of
dying kittens simmer
ceaselessly in a stew
of grey and bloody
afterbirth

she arrives

tall, thin, cadaverous
as a SuperModel, with
eyes of jet and starlight,
the sweven hybrid of us
both

she wants me,
only me, all of me,
just me, and she has
me as she has always had
me
in that strangle hold of
Death and Life
available only to 
a child

we walk

she becomes a waif,
a pixie-perfect baby
ballerina from the 
Ballets Russe, her long
legs out stepping me,
always
out stepping me, her
perfect changement
punctuating each
bend in our
path

she turns

waiting and not
waiting, as I stop,
listening to the
hiss of kitten head
stew resound down
the hall

c.sdmrogers 29 july 2012

Caesura

He never translates well
to film.  The heat of his 
summers, like white shoes 
and ice pink suits, always
melts in the celluloid sun.

How was it I did not know.
Was I the only one who
did not know.  And why;
Why could you not tell me.

Thirty was so far away and
there was never any winter
where we were.  Where we 
were was always warm, was
always light and fresh and

young.

I knew only that I was never 
enough, that I was always
too much, that whoever you
wanted me to be, whoever you
kept trying to make me, I never

was.

And I never suspected.
Not even once.
Not even for a moment.
I never suspected it was

you.

c.sdmrogers 20 october 2012

Mornings

Your Love
         sidles
up and envelopes
me,
finding its arcane
way
past every locked
door, into each
               crevasse
beyond every boundary
and barrier, until

Your Love,
like your leg, wraps and
                         covers
me,

the slick
         click
of our fit followed by the
silent smiles and sleepy
                       moans
of teeth on flesh
of tongue on ridge
of fingers and bones
                     inside
as muscles rise and

fall like the pulse of a
gullet,
coursing away into
                  soft
contrails of laughter, and the
deep throated purr of content
ment

in the morning
every morning
for the rest of
                All
our lives.

©sdrogers 17 november 2012