Happy Birthday, Babygirl

Today is your birthday
You are nineteen
Going on twelve

The Papa you had
but never wanted
tells me
               She’s only doing now what she didn’t need to do earlier
              When she was with you
               Because she was with you

When you were
                                with me
When weren’t you?
When aren’t you?

The sharpened stones you
hurled as you left, found their
mark in my heart
where they
                      wait
with the rest of
                              hope
for your return

The Aunt you had
but never wanted
tells me
                She’ll come back to you
               You are home to her
               She will

Come back
                      to me
Will you?
When will you?

The day you were born
                                    Today
nineteen years ago
this moment, you
                                    refused
to leave the womb

Her womb

Perhaps you knew what
lay ahead with her, the
years to come, the
matchless years snorted
                                  fucked
                                  lied
away

Her years
Your years

Perhaps you knew that
the only safety with her, the
only security she could
ever offer you, was
the womb

Her womb

so you
             clung

Until you heard
                               my voice

I spoke your name
No, not your
                         Name
My name
                   for you
I said
            Babygirl
Babygirl,
I’m here
Come out
                    now
I’m here

And I will
                    Love you more than anything else in the world
I will
                    Take care of you
I will
                    Be here when you’re in trouble

          I do
          I have
          I am

Listen
              Babygirl
Babygirl,
I’m here
                 So
Come home
                       now
Come home
                        now

© s rogers 6 September 2008