In a Chapel Far Far Away

How do you continue not to despise me as much I do myself?

then set out to make
                                    sure
i do

Autumn falls
in colours i have
never seen
russet have i known
yellow, orange
blue and green

but these
                 these
plains of weld and woad,
lichen brush and madder sky,
blends of barley, bark, and berry
do not fit my mind

hours south,  life
times away,
‘gainst  screens of
ebon backsplash,
silver nitrate shadows slip
                                           poison
‘cross my eye

her heavy hair
                          (what colour now?)
her full-lipped smile
                         (why does she now?)
her infant hands
clasped over swell
                         (what if now?  what if now?  what if now?)

and you have
                       left
me

here to watch
these scenes
alone

you
        You
have
         left

How do you continue not to despise me as much I do myself?

perhaps i do
                      perhaps perhaps perhaps
i
do
      now

© s rogers 16 october 2010