she stared at him
not in disbelief
not really
not in shock
not really
she simply
stared
it occurred to her that while
carefully
mottling the cool greens of these
walls of these bedroom
walls of these master bedroom
walls
she had expected these shades
of moss
of envy
of tornado storm sky
to witness many scenes through many years
because
only she would make the changes
only she would prime the greens
only she would roll the new colours
only she
as always
and so she had mottled
carefully
expecting to live amid these
pacific greens for
years for many
years
together
I guess the easiest way to explain it…
had he always been
this
this small
this short
this tiny
this negligible
in
this room
Is that I’m tired. I’m just tired. I’m tired of being married.
to me she thought
but did not hear him say
and in that silence she thought
of Mitchell
***
how long had it been
how long since she had stood
where Tom stood now
how long since she had said
I
do not
want
to be married
anymore
To You
how long
three four five years
but no
no
she had not stood
she had sat
upright in the
bed the black backed
bed the black backed
loveless
bed
she had sat
upright as Tom
knelt
bony knees cut by the
cold overpriced dowels of
bamboo
I don’t want to lose you.
his same voice (less tired) had said
kneeling as she sat
upright in silence
and thought
again
of Mitchell
Mitchell who even then
drove
drove away from his
ComfortableHome
drove away from his
CrazyExWife
drove away from his
CherishedChildren
drove
to
her to them to their
FutureTogether
as Tom knelt
No matter what, I don’t want to lose you
as Tom knelt
shifting
knee to knee
Don’t all these years count for something?
as Tom knelt
bamboo biting broken skin
No one will ever love you as much as I love you.
as Tom knelt
bending retrieving a
box a velvet
box as black as the black backed
bed
in which she sat
silent
still
as Tom knelt
opening the box
offering its contents
pearls
two
diamonds
three
bound in
one
platinum circle
as Tom knelt
taking her hand
pressing her hand
Mona Lisa hands…
to his lips
My Mona Lisa hands
as Tom knelt
slipping the gems onto her finger
easily
Perfect fit
as Tom knelt
smiling against her skin
she could not look
at him
she could look
only
at the ring
pearls not white but
black
as the inky black
box
as the black backed
bed
pearls not white but
black
black and
surrounded
clustered
choked
by a crystalline
halo
of ice
as Tom knelt
You are my wife, Casha…
as Tom knelt
You are my wife. He will never call you that.
and Mitchell
never had
***
in silence
she slipped the ring from her finger
easily
in silence
she watched the ring fly from her hand
easily
as Tom ducked
too slow
she thought
always
too slow
in silence
she smiled as the ring caught
easily
the corner of his mouth
as the diamonds slashed
easily
the cold hard line of his lips
©s rogers 10 April 2009
